tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5523671.post4205263188125675981..comments2023-10-25T03:40:43.931-07:00Comments on Ne Cresin so Arthaey: Weddings Are Just Special Dinner Parties, No?Arthaey Angosiihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17107174886837969594noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5523671.post-62867848677645466492010-02-23T17:48:05.942-08:002010-02-23T17:48:05.942-08:00Oh we could so have a party. It might be a small p...Oh we could so have a party. It might be a small party with ice cream and See's and movies and PJs (I somehow don't see you wanting male strippers) but it would be a damn delicious party, gosh-darnt it :D I see your point re mutual friends though.<br /><br />I agree with you on weddings, though. Why all this stuff that doesn't really mean very much? I have wedding favors though, I have to admit. I have a candle that we never threw away and beakers (yes, my friend Bradford had beakers in his wedding favors :D) we use basically as shot glasses. Other than that, though, I don't even remember what wedding favors were given out.<br /><br />So, umm, what is an escort card tree?Nigmihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15384029455835829300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5523671.post-35417271157565109922010-02-20T05:47:57.661-08:002010-02-20T05:47:57.661-08:00I helped Laurie plan/execute her wedding two years...I helped Laurie plan/execute her wedding two years ago. When I'm not on my phone I'll write you an email, or I'll call you when it's a more humane hour on the West Coast.Renehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10627138072645820163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5523671.post-25834170906608656332010-02-19T19:07:08.298-08:002010-02-19T19:07:08.298-08:00First we must ask, what are weddings for? The ans...First we must ask, what are weddings for? The answer (as worked out by Gale and me some thirty years ago) was that cohabitation is a private affair, whereas marriage is fundamentally public. As the Anglican service begins, "We are gathered together in the sight of God <i>and this congregation</i>", who were normally the neighbors, the witnesses, the people who maintain the "common knowledge" that this is not a marriage-by-capture, but a openly conducted consensual act between adults. (For similar reasons, weddings at night used to be prohibited.)<br /><br />Okay, then, who are these witnesses? Well, there are the families, and then there are the ordinary invitees. But between those are the friends of the bride and the friends of the groom, the ones who are special enough to have a role in the wedding of some sort -- what sort is up to you. These are the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. The maid of honor (matron of honor, if she's married) and best man are the most significant of these. (We had a "best person", a very close female friend of mine, to pass us the rings at the strategic moment.)<br /><br />The rehearsal dinner is just the reward for going through the wedding rehearsal, which you may need (like any actor) if you have a complex ritual to enact. If not, just lean on your officiant -- you really, really don't want to go dry when repeating your vows. One of his/her jobs is to be a prompter. (We didn't bother with a rehearsal.)<br /><br />If you don't want bachelor/ette parties, don't have 'em. It would be best for domestic harmony if you conceded to Forrest having one if he wants it, though. (We didn't.)<br /><br />Invitations are good. People will give you stuff, and then you have to remember who was there. Sending hardcopy invitations helps you track that.<br /><br />Bridal showers, like baby showers, aren't your problem. If a (normally female) friend or relative gives you one, just look surprised at the stuff they give you, and otherwise just party. (My daughter Irene's baby shower was half guys, but with the exception of me they all went and played video games while I yakked with the women.)<br /><br />Receptions are parties, but they can be done however you like. (Ours was held in the same townhouse as the wedding, and we had it catered by a salad-bar restaurant, though we hired three waiters to dish out the stuff, for sanitary reasons. We provided the punch and the wedding cake ourselves.)<br /><br />The most important point is that it's your wedding and you make the rules, all of 'em. We, for example, didn't invite any family except my father (who came in his walker) and Gale's parents (who refused, on the ground that they hadn't attended her first wedding either.) Similarly, we wrote our own vows and arranged for everything ourselves. We did talk to a wedding planner, but we ended up only using her to calligraph the invitations.<br /><br />Pretty long. I hope all that helps.John Cowanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11452247999156925669noreply@blogger.com