I'm Really Moving

It's starting to hit home.

All our boxes have been sorted through, culled of things we don't need anymore, and packed back up. The movers come tomorrow morning to steal all our stuff away. Tomorrow night, we'll camp out in our bedroom on the floor, with air mattresses and sleeping bags. Saturday, we'll do the move-out walkthrough with the landlord, then pick up Forrest's dad, Dennis, from the airport. (He's helping us finish clean up and drive our two cars down.)

All this means, we're really leaving Seattle. I've been here since April 2007, and I've really come to like the area here. I've made some good friends, whom I'll miss. So far, I've been busy with the logistical details of the move, which are concrete and unemotional steps. But now that the busywork is trailing off, the Sad is starting to creep in.

I wish I was relocating because I wanted to, rather than because work said "move or quit" (to both of us, of course, which made it crazy for us to both quit at the same time — we learned our lesson on that one last year). But there are certainly worse places to live than California, even the South Bay. And there are worse things than working for Google, even if they are a big company.

On the other hand, I've come to believe it's better, emotionally, to admit when you feel contradictory things. So I'm super excited to have been hired into Google, even if it was "only" through an acquisition. I'm excited about the many opportunities there (offices in Europe? yes please!). I'm very grateful for my salary and generous benefits, which make day-to-day financials not stressful. But I'm sad to have to leave Seattle for the South Bay. And I'm sad to no longer be part of a tight-knit startup.

All in all, though, this will probably be a net-positive experience. Maybe it will only be a "learning experience." Maybe we'll both find the right niche for us that feels a little more like a startup within the large company. Either way, it's not like this is going to send our life spiraling downward; far from it. I guess it's that I was comfortable doing startups in Seattle, and change is always somewhat disruptive and emotional.

Here's to embracing change and making the most of it.